Sweet Dreams?

This morning:

T, "Momma, can we talk about dreams?"

Me, "Sure, we can talk about dreams! Did you have any dreams last night?"

T, "No, not last night."

Me, "No? Well, what dreams do you want to talk about?"

T, "Well, just sometimes I have dreams."

Me, "Why don't you tell me about them? I would love to hear about your dreams. Are they good dreams?"

T, "Well, sometimes they are good but, but sometimes they're scary."

Me, "That's not fun. The good thing is they are just dreams. What kind of dreams baby?"

T, "Well... There was a monster in my closet and he just wanted to eat me. Then the other monster in the closet was eating all our clothes! There was a monster outside eating the cars. And one was trying to eat everybody. And one that was trying to eat the bugs. Mommy, I like bugs. I love to catch bugs. So he was just trying to eat them and I just told him 'No, you can't eat the bugs!' So I just spanked him and then, and then he cried like this... 'Ehhhhaaahhaaa!' "

Me, "Wow T. That is a wild dream!"

T, "Yes, but he didn't eat the bugs anymore."

Me, "Well, I imagine not."

:)

Bittersweet

This word keeps coming to mind these days.

Bittersweet.

If you haven't already heard it through the grapevine I'd like to be able to share with you...

We are moving.

Brandon and I have felt the Lord pressing on our hearts for a while now to shift in our ministry mindset. It has been almost audible at times for both of us. The change is to shift from being focused on traditional youth ministry to one focused on families of students. To teach parents how to disciple their own children rather than relying on the "church" to do the job they as parents are called by scripture to do. To help the parents be the "A team" while the church is the "B team".

The move has come about through the opportunity to be apart of starting a new ministry in a church very dear to our hearts. It's the church we grew up being apart of. Yes, we'll be moving back home to Fairfield. Brandon will be the Young Life Discipleship Pastor, pastor of families and students from K-12th grade.

We are thrilled! The things we foresee God doing there are great and mighty as we partner with parents to help them disciple and train their children. When we went in view of a call, we loved seeing some familiar faces along with some we were seeing for the first time. They seem excited and ready to embark on this new territory, eager to see Christ be the center of every home. My friends, that is the "sweet" part.

The "bitter" part is that we love the people here. We have built some of the strongest relationships we've ever had here over the past few years. I ache when I think about leaving them behind. I know that as Christ Followers we will never have to say goodbye. For I know we will meet again. And not just in heaven, we're not moving that far away! But the truth is, we won't get to live in close community with them anymore. Yes, this is bitter indeed.

I have been so blessed. I love my friends deeply.

This has definitely been one of those un-blog-able things I mentioned a while back. But now, it's here. It is no longer just a possibility. It is real. It is happening. The reality has settled in just long enough to be recognized, packed up and moved.

My emotional status changes by the minute as we get ready to make this transition. In getting our house ready to sell, I had to paint over my bright walls to make them "neutral". This was not easy or fun. I think I'll post before and after pictures sometime and show you what I'm talking about.

Our house is on the market. It's uncomfortably clean (in case we get a call from the realtor saying she wants to show it). We have some boxes packed in the garage and many more waiting to be packed. Thankfully we will not have to wait on our house to sell to be able to move. The church is allowing us to live in their mission house while we are in transition and selling our house. This was a HUGE, Praise the LORD! He is so good. I am thankful He is a God of details.

Brandon is currently in Mexico building a house (the trip had been on the calendar long before all of this was final). It is his last trip with our church family here. He told me he couldn't have picked a better trip to wrap up his time here.

When he returns Sunday afternoon, I hope to have a lot of packing done. That is... if I don't spend all of my time blogging like I'm doing now when I should be packing something. And just in case you think my husband has left me to do it all alone, He hasn't! I have had so many friends offer to come help pack or to watch the boys while I pack. I am taking a few up on their offers. They have all been tremendous help already!

Our church family here is throwing us a going away party this coming Sunday evening. I am looking forward to loving on them and being loved on by them. I am not looking forward to the tears, I know they will surely come.

I need to wrap this up and get back to packing. Moving truck will be here on Wednesday. That's 5 days. Crazy.

Yes, bittersweet says it all.

Then and even Today

I am too tired to write, but feel the need to. Strange? Maybe. Even so, it's true. I need to update on the boys, recap from our Easter celebration weekend and family get together which have all taken place since I last blogged but instead, I have decided I'd share from my journal tonight. I know... a blog, a journal and lots of other things to keep up with aside from the rest of my crazy-fun-busy-messed up-unfolded laundry life. I wrote this entry yesterday.

Monday~ April 12, 2010
I think this might be the slowest I've ever taken to work through a journal. I have written in many journals over the years and this one barely has a dint in it and I've been writing it it since the week before Kohen was born. Shameful, I do admit.

I love to journal.

I desire to journal.

I have a lot to write about.

I don't have (and also don't make) time to journal these days.

A lot of days I am just busy doing other things during my "free time". Like, waste my time on the internet (facebook, email, blog and just plain ole' browsing) or I watch a show (most of the time this is also done on the internet since we don't have cable) or doing my bible study (I wish this was my excuse more often than it is but honesty it's not). I also do lots of dishes, clothes and general cleaning around the house.

In my not so "free time" I also do all of the above while the boys are also needing to be taken care of. You see, I'm a multi-tasker. :) I play with them, chase them, read to them, feed them, bathe them, spank them... I think you get the point.
Life is so full right now.

In all of our business I don't want to be too busy to pay attention and retain what goes on. That is one thing keeping a journal helps with.

*Deep sigh*

So I will write when I can. Trying to fill these pages with the stories of our lives. Things I pray I will always remember and if for some reason I forget, I can open this book and many more much like it and read from my own hand what life was like.

Today:

There are piles of laundry on our overstuffed chair. Clean, folded and ready to be put away. They have been sitting there for 4 days now.

The 20" tv we were given by from friends that are moving isn't quite as small as I'd hoped. It doesn't fit in our armoire along with the boys "put away" toys, being able to be hidden to help keep the appearance of a "picked up" house. The fact that it's not small enough did not, however, keep Brandon from stuffing it (and half of the toys) in the armoire to "make it work". He also used books to elevate the tv. Books. This doesn't thrill me.

We recently spent time with half of our very large family. Ate good food, enjoyed great conversations, played cards and stayed up too late every night we were together. Being around family makes me miss family at the same time. It's a weird emotion.

Kohen has been very discontent today which makes me think he was probably held a little much last weekend. We will survive this.

I skipped 3 weeks in my Beth Moore study in order to catch up with the other ladies in the study group. I have been overwhelmingly behind. Now that I am doing it again I remember how good it is.

As I'm writing this Brandon has the big boys outside they are undoubtedly looking for lizards since this is their new obsession. Okay, mainly just Tristan's new obsession, Peyton just follows and Daddy catches them.

I am enjoying the quiet (along with the sound of the ceiling fan and Kohen's swing).

Today I am trusting God and resting in this peace- He knows what is best for me. He is good and He is for me.

Leanna

~

This is actually one of those late nights I was going to write a random post about who knows what. But instead I scrounged something up out of the draft pile... I wrote this back in April and never posted it for whatever reason. When I pulled it up and read it, I decided to post it because even though the events of today were much different from the events from April 12, 2010, my end thoughts are very much the same.

Today, October 5, 2010, I am trusting God and resting in this peace- He knows what is best for me. He is good and He is for me.

"In the Middle of Me"

I have thought about this a few times recently... I don't think I have ever explained my blog title. So here I am at 1 am about to blog about it. You know, because there is nothing else for me to be doing. Oh, what's that, sleep? Naaa, rest is for wimps.

(insert picture of the husband dragging me out of bed in the morning before he leaves for work)

Ahem. Shall we continue?

In the world we live in, we are sold a lie about who we really are...

You are the car you drive • You are the food you eat • You are the places you go • Who you are is defined by the clothes you wear • How big your bank account is • How successful your spouse is • How many kids you have • And so on and so on.

I have found myself getting sucked into and buying into this lie more often than I would I like to admit. But I have. I wonder what people will think all too often. Or thought I was defined by this or that.

Our pastor, Dr. Moody, once made a statement that still to this day rings in the ears of my heart.

"We must come to the point in our lives where we realize that HE is the best part of who we are."

The "HE" he mentioned is Jesus Christ. Isn't that the truth? I am only who I am because of Christ. I have what I have because of Him. And even on my good days, my righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Ewww. I mean, seriously! Do you know what that's talking about?!

He is the best part of me.

Even when I don't want to believe that, I can get honest with myself. I can look at myself in the mirror and think about what hides in the depths of my heart. It's then that I am faced with a brutal reality, I am in need. I am not enough. I can't do it on my own, whatever it may be.

He must forgive me. He must cover me. He must redeem me.

Have you seen in those things anything I do? I am who I am because HE forgave me. HE covers me. HE redeemed me.

Who I really am is who I am in Christ.

He is the best part of me.

And yet, I still get so caught up in the things of this world. The labels. The expectations.

My desire in starting a blog, was to open up a window into my world. To our family and friends (and whoever else happened to stumble across it) so they might peek in and see where we laugh, live, love, struggle and grow. If you know me, then you know I am far from having anything "together" so to speak. I often joke about my struggle with "keeping crazy in the box" {a blog for another day}. I am just trying to keep it real. And this is me being real.

I want so badly for Him to be the center. The center of me, my marriage, my home, and my world. The thing that people go back to when they think of us. That they would think of Him.

Does that happen all the time? No. But I continue to strive. To seek. To listen. To follow. As He moves, draws, speaks, and leads.

I got the words "In the Middle of Me" from a song from one of my favorite artists, Shane Bernard.

Holiday
You are my holiday.

You are right in the middle of me.

You are my hideaway.

You are home.

Calling out your name.

Oh, my holiday.

You make my heart new.

I love you.

What it is I'm trying to say

You are my favorite part of me.

This song coupled with the thought that He truly is the best part of me is why I have named my blog what I have. Even in my blogging, I want to share the best part of me along with the rest (and just so you know "the rest" can get ugly). I want to be open. Honest. Because I always want Him to be right In the Middle of me and known as my favorite part of who I am.

mischief and mayhem

mischief |ˈmis ch if|
noun
playful misbehavior or troublemaking, esp. in children

caught.

red (or in this case, white)

handed.

my "helper".

mayhem |ˈmāˌhem|
noun
violent or damaging disorder; chaos

the one cabinet without child locks.

toilet paper.

meet 9 mo old.

oh yes, he did.

this was the day i had changed the roll.

of course.

Say what?

Some things I have heard coming out of my mouth lately...

"No, Mommy doesn't have another baby in her tummy right now. I'm glad you want more brothers but not yet. No, you and Peyton do not have babies in your tummy. No you don't. Because boys can't have babies, only mommies can. Nope, not daddy either."

"Do not lick your brother!"

"Peyton, Mommy doesn't have a peepee. No sir, you may not see. Yes, you have a peepee. And Daddy. And Tristan. And Kohen. No, I do not have a peepee. No, you may not see. Go in there and let me finish going potty by myself! No, I do not. Now, go."

"What are you chewing on???"

"I know you went potty yesterday but you need to go again... today."

"Peyton, pl... Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. Buzz, please get another bite."

"No baby, we don't need a puppy. Because we have a Kohen. Yes, he's kind of like a puppy."

"Where did you get that?! Eeeeewwww! No, that is not playdough that is a booger. And we do not play with boogers!"

"Can you say, Momma? Yes, Dada Dada. I know you can say that!"

Yes, you're reading that right! Peyton's Potty Train!

Brandon and Tristan are out this weekend, they went to the deer lease for some big boy getaway time. And I thought since the big boys would be out for a few days this would be the perfect chance for me to crack down on Peyton and his aversion to potty training. We could focus without the pressures of the big brother who already knew what he was doing. Peer pressure has not worked in this case. So, I came up with a plan...

This morning we went to the store and Pey picked out his very own "unnerwears"! He had 7 different characters to choose from. It took f o r e v e r for him to make up his mind. The child is so much like his mother, it pains me (and yes, I'm talking about myself). He ended up choosing Superheros, of course. Also, some stickers and jelly beans. All part of the plan, which was similar to what we did with Tristan when he was potty training only tweaked a bit for Peyton.

The whole time we were at the store we talked about how he was going to wear his new underwear but ONLY if he was going to go tee-tee and poo-poo in the potty. We talked it up, let me tell you. When we got home and he immediately wanted to wear Batman. I told him he couldn't just wear them, he had to go tee-tee and poo-poo in the potty. He said "Ok! I gonna go poo-poo in the potty and then I gonna wear my unnerwears!" I was thinking "Mmm Hmm... this will be fun..."

I am pleased to announce he jumped right up on the potty like he was an old pro! I was in a bit of shock, I hadn't even gotten his poster ready for stickers. Remember the plan? Yeah, he was ready to go and I was just sitting there with a goofy grin on my face! He asked me "Where are my stickers??" Again... I wasn't prepared! HA! I explained he did such great job while we got him some candy, I assured him that he would have stickers when he got up from naptime.

During naptime I made the poster, "Peyton's Potty Train". I got this great idea to do a train from my sweet friend Kendall (who eagerly awaits embarking on adventures in potty training one day with her little guy :). When the train is full of stickers (or covered with stickers) then we'll do something special! I haven't decided yet what it will be but Pey is so excited about his "Super surprise!", as he calls it.

When he got up from his nap we started at it again... This time with the full effect. Underwear, poster, stickers AND candy!

He loves his underwear! He loved the poster! He loved the stickers! He loves getting candy for going poop! HE DID GREAT!

Day 1:
13 trips to the potty
11 stickers on the poster board
2 #2's
4 jelly beans
only 3 accidents

= success!