Peace and Cheap Shampoo

I mentioned in a previous blog that my thoughts have been difficult to get in order over the summer. It's so true. We have had lots of issues arise in the recent months. Not necessarily good or bad really, but un-blog-able issues either way. So what has my reaction been with these issues? I think about them. A lot. I journal about them some. But mainly, I just think about them.

Now, as a mother of 3 under 3 I don't have a lot of uninterrupted time slots in the day to just think. Unless something crazy happens and all 3 of the boys nap at the same time. If that ever happens I'm usually too distracted by the angels singing the hallelujah chorus to actually think... Okay, maybe that's a little over the top. But the truth of the matter is when I'm alone, I think. When I'm not alone, I think. When I'm busy, I think. When I'm not supposed to be thinking, I think. It's like a hobby. Kind of.

So, we have established that even though there are crazy children hanging on my legs and sitting in my lap all day long, I can still manage to do some thinking here and there. But my go to place to think, where I'm usually not interrupted is the shower. That's my get away. It's quiet, most of the time. I have 3-20 minutes (depending on if the boys are being watched or napping or being entertained) all to myself.

Because of these "issues" going on I have had a lot to think about when I get into said "thinking place." I have over the years used my time in the shower to pray (a trick I learned from my now husband years ago who learned it from someone else). I have, since having multiple children, strayed away from spending my time in prayer because it takes work to do so. I gave myself an "out" so to speak. I deserve a shower in peace. Was one of the things I would tell myself when I realized I hadn't spent my time in prayer as I've committed to do at different times in my life. When conviction would start to seep in I would say something else like, I do stuff all day. I need some time to myself. Time to think and not be bothered. {a blog for another day}

With that logic, I would think and think and think while showering. Mulling over ALL of the un-blog-ables. There are a few problems with this...

1. I would add to the issues. I'm not sure if this is just a woman thing or what but I'd start thinking... If they say, _______ then I'll say, _______. Or if _______ happens, then I'll have to _______. And what about _______, I just don't know what to do about that! And so on, and so on... I would find myself having arguments in my head and fixing situations that had NEVER EVEN HAPPENED!

2. I would literally forget how many times I had washed my hair. Seriously. I like to wash my hair twice but because of all of this "thinking" I could not for the life of me keep up with how many times I had washed it! Once? Twice? Three times?? Who knows! Did I even wash my hair?... I guess I better just wash it again... I can honestly say this happened more than a handful of times.

Now let me share where I was when all of this came to a screeching halt...

We've been doing a study on Wednesday nights through the book of Philippians. The study as been awesome, very challenging and encouraging in my striving for more of Jesus. Last week we came to a verse my Mom had me memorize as a child. A verse I claim to know. A verse I had obviously taken for granted.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8

true. honorable. right. pure. lovely. praise worthy.

ouch.

I sat fairly quietly during the study, letting the Holy Spirit speak into my soul.

I had been dwelling on things that hadn't even happened... How could they be true? How could I move on to honorable if I can't even get the first one right? I had been worrying and carrying so many thoughts around in my head that were not glorifying God. Now that was true.

If you read further, Paul tells the reader in verse 9 to "practice these things".

"We must constantly, in our minds, exercise remaining in truth."

-Matt Chandler

I have got to practice. When my mind (that is so easily distracted by the things of this world) starts going to those places, I must take those thoughts captive, hold them up to the measuring stick and start honestly asking and answering. Is it true? No. It has got to go.

And here's why...

practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
verse 9

One thing I have not experienced in all of my "thinking" of late, is peace. I have experienced anxiety, worry, fatigue, frustration, anger and discontentment. None of which are remotely peaceful.

I so desire my God to be pleased with my thoughts. I want them to uplift Him. And I want His peace to be with me. I want to be filled with Him and His peace all the time. In my home, in the car, at the grocery store, at the place where our church meets, and yes, even in the shower.

Can I just say- it's been nearly a week since I was convicted about my thoughts, I asked for forgiveness and for His help as I put into practice the things I know to be true and right. I do not have it down. I have not won every battle in my mind. But I have taken thoughts captive and thrown them away for not being true. I have experienced peace that's unmistakably His. And since last week, I haven't wasted any more shampoo.

So I ask you, whoever you are, where are your thoughts?